When my sister was born with 22Q Deletion Syndrome, I learned very early that childhood development does not always follow the tidy charts or timelines found in parenting books. I watched my family work alongside professionals such as speech therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapists, and paraprofessionals who even came into our home to help her grow and thrive. Those supports were not a sign of failure, but of love. They were the scaffolding that helped her become the most successful version of herself.
That experience has shaped how I view milestones in early childhood. Milestones are important. They give us a general sense of what children should be learning and when they are likely to master certain skills. But milestones are not rigid rules. Every child develops at their own pace. Still, there are times when missed or significantly delayed milestones can be red flags that additional support may be needed. And that is where the village comes in.
Parents and educators are not meant to do this work alone. Sometimes the most loving step we can take is to seek help from professionals who are trained to provide the strategies and tools children need.
Key Preschool Milestones
Here are some general developmental milestones for children ages 3 to 5. These general markers are adapted from widely used pediatric and educational guidelines. Remember, there is always a range, but these can serve as helpful markers.
By Age 3
Language: Uses two or three word sentences, asks simple questions, follows two step directions.
Social/Emotional: Begins to play with others, shows a range of emotions, may have separation anxiety but recovers quickly.
Motor: Climbs well, runs easily, pedals a tricycle, builds a tower of six or more blocks.
Cognitive: Can complete simple puzzles, matches objects by shape or color, understands “same” and “different.”
By Age 4
Language: Speaks in full sentences, tells stories, strangers can understand most words.
Social/Emotional: Enjoys group play, begins to cooperate, can express likes and dislikes clearly.
Motor: Hops and stands on one foot, catches a ball most of the time, uses scissors with guidance.
Cognitive: Begins to understand time concepts, can name some colors and numbers, shows interest in early writing.
By Age 5
Language: Speaks clearly, tells simple stories using full sentences, knows name and address.
Social/Emotional: Wants to be like friends, understands rules, can distinguish between real and make-believe.
Motor: Can skip, climb, and swing, dresses and undresses with minimal help, uses utensils effectively.
Cognitive: Counts ten or more objects, recognizes some letters and numbers, begins to print some letters.
When to Seek Extra Support
Every child develops differently, but here are some signs that may indicate it is time to ask for additional guidance.
Speech/Language: By age three, very few words, difficulty understanding simple directions, not combining words.
Social/Emotional: Extreme difficulty interacting with peers, little eye contact, limited interest in play.
Motor: Struggles with walking, running, climbing, or grasping objects far beyond expected age.
Cognitive: Lack of interest in exploring, inability to follow simple routines, frequent frustration with basic tasks.
If concerns persist over several months, or if development seems to plateau, it may be time to reach out for support.
The Village That Helps
Speech Therapy (SLP): Supports children with articulation, language delays, and communication challenges.
Occupational Therapy (OT): Helps with fine motor skills, self-help skills such as feeding and dressing, and sensory processing.
Physical Therapy (PT): Assists with large motor skills such as walking, running, climbing, and balance.
Special Education Teams (SIET/IEPs): Provide individualized plans for children who need more targeted support in the classroom.
These resources are not labels to be feared. They are tools to help children succeed.
Our role is not to compare or to shame. Our role is to create environments where children can flourish. Sometimes that means celebrating when a child finally strings two words together. Sometimes it means asking for extra guidance and welcoming a professional into the journey.
It truly takes a village for children to grow into the people God designed them to be.
Seeking help is not weakness. It is strength.
And it is one of the most powerful ways we can love and support the children entrusted to us.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. — 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Grace in the Disarray 